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Friday, January 6, 2012

A little bit of background!

I figured I'd give you a little background to add to my introduction so that you may eventually understand how I got where I am today.

I was 21 before I was introduced to the wonderful world of sex toys. It began as a conversation with a co-worker. We were discussing being virgins (I know, 21... hard to believe right?) and how toys couldn't possibly feel like the real thing. I finally admitted the idea appealed to me and it made me really wonder what kept me from exploring this option all of this time. Finances were one reason. Toys DO cost money and when I was struggling to pay bills, it seemed like a very frivolous gift to myself. I was also hesitant because I imagined every adult novelty shop was like those seedy porn shops in the movies. Dark lighting, all sorts of characters running about giving the place it's classic-creepster atmosphere. This did NOT appeal to me, so I guess I had avoided going to places like that. Sure, I guess I COULD have gone with a friend, but the conversation just never took place. I think I was also a bit shy about trying something like that. I grew up in a VERY christian household (at least part of the time) and was taught that lust and sexuality could be seen by god and THINKING the sin was just as bad as DOING it. And don't DARE even THINK about touching yourself. This sticks with you, I suppose. Although, I wasn't afraid to "touch myself", I think I was afraid to try something that had volume to it. At this time, I was more interested in the buzz factor than the dildo factor, having never been penetrated at all before this point.

That explanation brings us to the final decision that put me in the middle of an adult novelty shop going "Okay... I'm here. Where do I begin?" and finally browsing. What started as a regular "girls day out" with shopping and food, ended up being a surprise trip to the specialty store. My friend had just gotten way too curious from the conversation we had and just had to see what this was all about. She pulled into the parking lot and I somehow was ready. I felt safe with her, it was during the day and didn't look too busy. I don't think I was afraid of someone seeing me in there as being bothered by someone in there. We waltzed in excited to see what the place had to offer. We browsed lingerie first, playing coy about the actual shopping of the toys. We finally made our way over and to my surprise, it wasn't really all that threatening. Short, half-walls created two rows of toys ranging from bullets to a couple of rabbit vibes.

We looked up and down an down and up, trying to decide on something that looked appealing. She decided to go with a small penetration toy and fingervibe. I wasn't feeling so adventurous at first. I found a rubber ducky with a bondage theme and had to take a look. This thing was super cute, looked less obvious than some of the others and wasn't phallic, so it wasn't as threatening as some of the other toys. I happily made my decision and trotted my toy to the counter where a girl I knew from school was standing. It would figure this would happen, but I had a sudden realization that I really didn't care. So she knows I masturbate... Who cares? She's working the counter. I'm sure she's seen worse. She put batteries in the toy and tested it to make sure it worked before repackaging the product and bagging it.
As soon as I had paid for the toy there was this strange sense of freedom and discovery. I hadn't even used the toy and I was already feeling like part of me had grown up just by making this small step I hadn't made before. Until this point I hadn't even used those little massagers you can get at department stores, so I knew this experience would be a totally new one. We did a little more shopping and then went home.

Through the night I would peek into my little black bag to see the packaged ducky looking up at me with sweet eyes. I hadn't gotten the courage to even take it out of the bag! What was keeping me from this??? I finally decided it was silly for me to put something like this off and reminded myself that just buying the toy made me feel different. It was time to try it. The girl who had sold it to me left the batteries in the toy so he was ready to go. I named the toy "T.C. Kink" and began to examine it, giggling at how cute it was. I had thought (only for a moment) that it was too cute to cram against my genitals and that it would be used as a body massager. I pressed the duck and super strong vibrations shook my hands. I began using this on my body, just getting used to the idea of vibrations on my skin. I spent what seemed like forever using the duck like this until I finally got brave enough to slide it between my legs.
OOOOH MMMYYYY GODDDDD!!!!!   It was unlike anything I had ever felt before. Much too strong initially. I pulled back, wide-eyed and shocked. I decided to massage NEAR my lower regions until I got used to it. Eventually I was so turned on that I couldn't resist and I once again positioned the vibrator between my legs. After a couple minutes of hip-bucking and writhing, I had a most amazing orgasm. I totally understood the draw of toys. This opened a new world of self-exploration and learning more about what my body was capable of. I have since collected MANY toys and through doing so discovered MANY different kinds of orgasms I was capable of having.

I know this isn't informative or helpful, but it gives some idea as to how one enters the world from being a bit shy about it and totally inexperienced. I encourage women who are curious to give it a shot. It's something that doesn't have to cost a lot of money initially and is safe and clean and allows for so much growth sexually. It's hard to go wrong. No, toys can't be like the real thing when it comes to sex or men and no a man can't vibrate. This is just a DIFFERENT way of doing things. It's YOUR body. Don't be afraid to explore it!

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